


I'm My Own Hero

by PinkGold



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Contemplation, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Mixed feelings, Past Child Abuse, Protective Steve Rogers, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Xenophobia, latin Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23599582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkGold/pseuds/PinkGold
Summary: “Did you really cry over a stand up?” Steve says as he makes his way to the open kitchen and grabs the water jar from the fridge. He’s smirking, as if seeing Tony crying is one great joke. And really, it might be.Tony’s mouth jerks into a smile, but he can’t keep it up, not with his lips trying to frown downwards. So he scratches his goatee, using his hand to hide his uncooperative lips and shrugs, trying to act natural.“You wouldn’t understand.” Tony recoils into himself. Why had he have to sound so broken?
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 22
Kudos: 134





	I'm My Own Hero

**Author's Note:**

> So yesterday I watched this stand up, Latin History for Morons (the one Tony watched in the fic as well) and I... idk, I felt the need to write this.
> 
> I wasn't going to share with anyone actually, because it's personal, and not everyone understands the feeling, but then I thought, if I feel this way, maybe someone out there feels it too, and they might need this as much as I did. (I'm projecting, I know, judge all you like)  
> I'm lucky when speaking of discrimination, I don't live in the USA, I live in Latin America and the only obstacles I find are online, but I hope it helps anyway, whoever needs this! <3 Te amo.
> 
> PS: Rhodey is chileno if it wasn't clear.  
> PSS: watch the stand up. It's good.

“... As one of my classmates keeps reminding me, I’m king of nothing. But if mayans invented the concept of zero, then nothing is not nothing. And if they can make something out of nothing… then my hero is… My hero is… me!”

The screen goes black, and his living room is filled with loud applause and cheering as John Leguizamo smiles and thanks everyone on the audience. It rolls for a few minutes, and Tony can turn the TV off right now. The show is over, but his arms feel heavy, and he’s taken over by a dark pit opening up on his stomach, crawling up to his throat, where it finds its place to rest in a tight knot.

It’s not a bad feeling, Tony’s just… contemplative. The stand up really brought conflicting feelings to rise to his skin. He’s angry, sad, lonely, happy, light, at peace… as if all those emotions were blended together and poured down his throat, and are now threatening to spill in tears.

He hears the penthouse’s door opening and closing and swiftly cleans his eyes free. They are red, of course they are, but if Steve doesn't mention it, Tony can at least try to pretend it’s from a cold.

Tony has no such luck, however.

“Did you really cry over a stand up?” Steve says as he makes his way to the open kitchen and grabs the water jar from the fridge. He’s smirking, as if seeing Tony crying is one great joke. And really, it might be.

Tony’s mouth jerks into a smile, but he can’t keep it up, not with his lips trying to frown downwards. So he scratches his goatee, using his hand to hide his uncooperative lips and shrugs, trying to act natural.

“You wouldn’t understand.” Tony recoils into himself. Why had he have to sound so broken?

But Steve’s posture changes then, maybe realizing his words were wrong, maybe he saw something in Tony’s face, but his boyfriend becomes serious, eyes growing guilty and he closes the distance between them and sits next to Tony, sides touching. Tony has to stiffen his shoulders so he doesn’t shake as Steve wraps an arm around them, bringing Tony closer to him.

“I’m sorry, honey.”

The warmth is good, he feels loved, and maybe it’s all he actually needs right now. To know he’s loved, even though most people in this country would love to see him deporting ‘back’ to Mexico (he’s half bolivian, but he doubts they know the difference). 

Tony tries to forget his father’s demeaning words, tries to forget Howard saying that he would always be a failure because he was stained with his mother’s blood. Tries to forget the look his classmates gave him because his skin is slightly darker than theirs, tries to ignore how they giggled behind his backs when they heard him speaking spanish with his mamá.

Tries to forget how police stopped him time and time again when he went back home late from parties, pissed drunk, and how everyone, every single one of the white businessmen in his boarding table, doubt his capabilities to run SI.

He thinks of Steve instead. How Steve was born in even more racist times and always ever saw Tony as his equal. How that even though he doesn’t  _ get it _ he still listens to Tony and never feels offended or hurt when Tony shares his anger.

Steve leaves a soft kiss on his temple, snuggling Tony closer to him and wrapping them with the fluffiest blanket he finds behind the couch’s back. He does all that for Tony, makes him comfortable and loved even as he doesn’t understand it, doesn’t even know the contents of the stand up Tony’s just watched.

Still,  _ still. _ What Tony really craves right now is someone who understands him, someone who (unfortunately) went through the same things he did.

As he laid his head on Steve’s warm shoulders, feeling protected, he selfishly wished Rhodey wasn’t visiting his mom down in Santiago.

**Author's Note:**

> _Tú no puedes comprar mi alegría_   
>  _Tú no puedes comprar mis dolores_


End file.
